June 25, 2009

Eye on LA: Michael Piper-Younie

So, as I am sitting here, relishing in the pleasure that Eva has chosen ME, Michael Piper-Younie, as the first to give his perspective on Eye on LA (the new section of her illustrious blog)...I am listening to another Michael!! This one was almost as famous as me but with a touch more plastic surgery (I've only had my nose done or so I tell people).

Nooo, but seriously, I am listening to the AMAZING Michael Jackson!! And, as I do, I feel all those emotions that his music has always brought to me and remember many of the memories associated with his songs!!

The lyrics that I am listening to right now: "Heal the world. Make it a better Place. For you. For me. For the Entire Human Race. There are people dying...if you care enough for the living!! Heal the world we live in. Save it for our children!!"

Not a bad sentiment to live by. I think Farrah would have agreed! And I thank her for all the times she and the other Angels filled that hour after lunch...during the summer...before you could resume swimming...with my ever-growing love of women that kick ass with great hair and hot bodies (Uh Alias?!?)!!

You two will be missed, but I think their legacy should be: help others, be strong, be brave, and stay beautiful on the inside even when the shit gets tough on the outside. But remember, these are just two people when so many other people are dying for pointless reasons around the world!!

OK...now that I have been sentimental and just a touch preachy, you can now read my INCREDIBLE answers for Eye on LA!

Stage Name: Michael Piper-Younie. Well, because it's just soo me! Reallly. I could've inserted my middle name also...which is Douglass, but then people think my parents named me after the star of Basic Instinct which I wasn't! Michael was my mom's first boyfriend's name and Douglass is my real dad's name. Maybe their eventual divorce was hinted within this?!? Oh, and remember to say my name in a sing-songy manner...Michael Piper-Youniee (ukneeeee).

Neighborhood: Miracle Mile...yo! Love it...close to everything but without the bullshit of some of our neighboring neighborhoods! Ahemmmm....WeHo, HoHo, and BevHo!!

Day Job: Actor/Writer/Comedian...ok, technically, unemployed actor but I refuse to work at a restaurant again. And this year is going to be grrreat! The Secret baby!!

Moonlight as: Actor/Writer/Comedian...also, a purveyor of television, magazines, food, etc. And, if I don't start getting more cash coming in, I might have to resort to street walker! Seriously.

Los Angeles is a: City. A Big City. With a ton of weirdos and lots to do! I like that and so do my dawgs (literally, doggees...Esmerelda "Ezzie" and Beatty) :-)

One day in LA. Go: This is all dependent on several factors. Did I drink heavily the night before? If so, not much happenin' except for my fat ass watching tv on the couch. But if I didn't go out, didn't sleep in too late, and didn't feel like hibernating from the rest of the world then.... good brunch w/ friends, followed by hike in Runyon or movie at Grove, then get all perty, have people over for dinner and cocktails, then paint the town turquoise (it's the new red!)!!

Food/drink that is LA: For many people in the entertainment industry, it is a couple pieces of lettuce and a non-jittery form of Dexatrim. But for us foodies, it is the quintessential brunch and tacooooosssss! As far as the drinky drinks are concerned... Grey Goose & soda with lime (no calories yet delicious)!

Recipe please: I just made a Vegetable Puree Soup w/ Chicken & Lavash Croutons from scratch w/ no recipe...yeahhh, you can be in awe of me if you like because it was freakin' tasty! But, I have some recipes if desired yet I tend to make soups/stews/casseroles (all mostly healthy) without recipes so just contact me through monkey in la and I'll hook you up with some tasty ideas ;-)

Getaway from LA: Alright blog readers...I's got a couple "Getaways from LA"!! First, I'm a San Diego native and my hometown is beautiful with so much to explore (once again...respond and I'll hook you up with ideas)!! Second, I grew up going to Palm Desert and love love quickly getting out of town and being in the heat and peace!! Third, Laguna is awesome!! Forth, Santa Ynez/Los Olivos/Solvang for a couple days is sooo great...if you can remember! Last time I was there I was so drunk from wine tasting that I cried at a bar...for no reason...at all...just cried. True! And last but nowhere near least is Lake Tahoe. It is one of my favorite places in the world and that statement has nothing to do with the fact that I was just there for a week and miss it terribly and think I might be a mountain man at heart! And that's kinda hilarious if you knew me!!!

Cheap Eats LA: Benitos (Fairfax & Beverly)...tasty 24 hr. mexican. Skye's Tacos (Pico)...not your standard mama's tacos but sooo good! The Farmer's Market @ The Grove...can always find a lil' somethin somethin different and reasonable!!! And the people watching there has caused many a lost hours in my life :)

Hideout in LA: Other than my house?!? Welllll, the park at the LaBrea Tar Pits has been a place of solitude for me and the pup...now pups...for years! It's beautiful with some great little hole in the wall areas to read, throw the ball, or you can dance atop the Page Museum when no one is there because you're way too into your music and there's like this big open area overlooking the museum that's like your own private dancefloor! And by private I mean, you and the security guards watching you on the security cameras around the perimeter. Seriously.

Clothing that is LA: For many, it's Ed Hardy. Personally, I just threw up in my mouth. But I think true LA clothing is a mix of styles that equates to a "sloppy put together yet not trying too hard but with so many layers of things that you look like a rich vagabond" type of look. Personally, I'm Volcom meets LaCoste! I.E. Pefection!

Scariest place LA: Parts of dowtown on the outskirts, like where the UPS main bldg is, has made me pee my pants a little. And I didn't stop at redlights...just paused! It's either there or the storage facility where excess fat goes after being sucked out of people's asses. It's a toss-up!

Officially an Angeleno when: You are ACTUALLY from LA. Seeeee people in San Diego claim to be natives after a couple years and having surfed 3 times then all of sudden they are "natives"...we, from there, don't accept that! Be proud of where you are from even if it totally sucks!

Green LA: Probably my LaBrea Tar Pits Park again. I, honestly, thought about this for awhile and then realized I need to get out more often. It's kinda sad people!!

K-Town or Thai Town? Neither b/c I have yet to ever do anything but drive through Koreatown and I don't even know where the "F" Thai Town is?!?

Beachside or Poolside? Beachside then poolside after you get the sand in your ass. Both are top notch locations unless the beach is really mud with a puddle in the middle or if it's the pool that is built via the breath of your own mouth.

Happy Hour or After Hour? YES! Cheap drinks are always my friend and, in my book, any hour is ok for a lil' booze! Morning buzz is great! An afternoon buzz is hilarious and nap-inducing. 'Happy Hour' buzz is freaking awesome BUT can be veryyyyy messy if it is then followed by early evening slightly drunk moving onto getting sloppy at a bar where people are just getting started and then topping the night off with drinks at your house completely sh**-faced where you have taken off all your clothes and obsessed with perfecting the art of the haiku! Another true story people. And don't drink and drive...yet, it seems in my case maybe I should start taking the bus! But that will never happen :)

Hancock Park or Hollywood Hills? So Hancock Park!!! Mama don't live on stilts and when entertaining da people's you don't want to have to tell them to park at the base of the mountain and guess their way to your home. Hancock Park and I are friends. Also, my therapist is located there. That sh** has made me less loco!

Speakeasy or Shake Your Sh**? To finish it off, I like to think of myself as a mix of the casual cool of a "Speakeasy"...where you can talk with your friends and hide your drink behind a pillow in the hopes of mimicking the Prohibition style appropriately. AND the "Shake Your Sh**" style of a nightclub...I's love to dance but mama gets a little claustrophobic when it's too crowded AND waiting in lines and I are sooo not friends!!

So, just make the best of where you are and you can always find a good time and some laughter!! Hope you all enjoy my version of LA and hit me up for my delish recipes.

Good night (and good luck) LA LA LAND,

Michael Piper-Younie

**editor's note: Unfortunately, Grey Goose is in fact not calorie-free.While I will fully support my friend Michael in continuing to believe this, it is at your discretion if you also choose to be a delirious alcoholic. Love you Michael!

Oh! Also, take Michael's warning--do NOT drink and drive. Your car will end up in the bushes with all the windows left down like his car did.

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